Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to completely absorb that at the minute," he said.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, states instead he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his current welfare, his family and getting ready for when the illness worsens.
"Perhaps that's surprise or perhaps I handle situations differently, and when I have the information, it's simpler," he stated further.
Early Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a number of scans indicated nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been affected by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly very emotional about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't feel ill. I don't sense unwell
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I remain capable of accomplishing whatever I want. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is possible."
Illness Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease claims a 33% of people within a 365 days and above half within two years of diagnosis, as swallowing and respiration become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," added an moved Moody.
"There's sadness around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the heartbreaking news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody explained the focus was being in the moment.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be extremely strongly focused on just embracing and savoring all aspects now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very lucky that the only real determination I made when I left playing was to spend as much period with the kids as feasible. We don't get those periods back."
Sportsman Link
Elite competitors are excessively influenced by MND, with investigations proposing the rate of the condition is up to sixfold elevated than in the general population.
It is believed that by reducing the O2 available and producing damage to nerve cells, regular, vigorous exercise can initiate the condition in those already genetically susceptible.
Athletic Career
Moody, who won 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his fearless, persistent method to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a training equipment and started participating in physical contacts.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the set piece in the decisive passage of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Support System
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a couple of other previous players about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a moment when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the present, just having that sort of affection and acknowledgment that people are present is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to call your passion your career, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so long a period with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will want to help in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
